So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
