Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
