I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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