Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
