sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We need to rekindle our bromance
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
