You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize