She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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