Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
