I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's shark week go big or go home
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
