Don't you send me to vm
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
