Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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