At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
either way he was missing a nipple.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
