found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
