I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
