so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
