i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
