i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
