Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize