a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
