He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
