Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize