I wish I could punch you in the face.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize