Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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