I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
