From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
