New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
MIDGETS
????
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
