dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
