I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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