; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
