no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
