fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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