if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
