I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
