I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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