I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
