hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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