You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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