Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just google imaged poop.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
