Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
These tits shall not be calmed
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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