this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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