I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
