how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
