i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
