why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
