As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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