they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
