AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
false alarm. still invincible.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
