I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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