My friends, they love my intelligence
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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