O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
