I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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