I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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