3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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