Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
