I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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