guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
