Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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