I'm eating all of the evidence.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
