Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
