During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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