Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
