I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
