is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
